I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
