another moral hangover. fuck.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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