one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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