can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
