trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
