how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize