I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
