If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
