saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dear god my vagina.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
