Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Randomize
