I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
