I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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