dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
