three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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