Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
