these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
