She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize