so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
