I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
