So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
