were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
