...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Mom said you looked used
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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