Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
false alarm. still invincible.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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