My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
