im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
