Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
