am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
