I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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