she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
