My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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