508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
