I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
