I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
