An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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