You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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