No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
