Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
