I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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