I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
