super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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