dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
