ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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