The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
