we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
