why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
