Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
