All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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