Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
handjob tips. give me some.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize