We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
