I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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