I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
