My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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