If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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