Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
