I'm going to jail i love you
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
