yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
