turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
