people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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