I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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