Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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