I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
