At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
