We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Houston, we have a squirter
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
