Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize