oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize