It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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